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  #1  
Old December 21st, 2011
Invi Invi is offline
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Default How to bring up the subject for the first time?

Hello.
I'm in a relationship with a man I've been seeing for a couple years. I know he's anti-circ. He was circ'd as a baby. I know he's upset his mother made that decision for him, and that he knows about the things he is missing out on because of it.
That said, I don't know if he has ever thought about foreskin restoration, and I've been trying to think of a way to bring it up. Not necessarily to try to get him to do it, just to see if it is something he'd be interested in or has thought about previously.
I'm not worried about him doing it for my benefit. I just want him to get as much pleasure out of sex as possible. He doesn't seem to have a lack of it now (he's in his early 30s), but I am worried that he may in the future like a lot of circ'd males do.
Even though we've never had a negative discussion regarding any similar topics, I'm still nervous about bringing it up. I'm well aware that to many men, their penis is like a best friend, and that makes it seem like it could be an uncomfortable subject. He doesn't really judge me on anything that I say to him, so I don't know why this makes me nervous to bring up; it just does.

How would you suggest starting such a conversation?
I had thought about doing so after sex some evening, but that just.. I don't know. It makes me feel like perhaps he might think I'm dissatisfied with our sex life, which is untrue. I guess bringing it up out of the blue sounds like a better alternative, but more awkward because there is nothing leading up to it.

I just don't even know where to start.
Maybe he knows about this place and has already thought about it, will see this, and I won't have to bring it up.. but that doesn't seem likely.

Any advice?
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  #2  
Old December 21st, 2011
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Purist Purist is offline
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Default Re: How to bring up the subject for the first time?

I'm assuming you're female?

"Hey, honey, remember that one time you were telling me about how you weren't happy about being circumcised? Well I came across an interesting (article, youtube video, website, whatever) and they were talking about how guys are actually using methods to regrow a new foreskin without involving any type of surgery. Did you ever hear anything before about how you could actually do that? Sounded kinda crazy, but they were saying it actually works and lots of guys have done it. Anyway, I remembered what you had told me , so I thought you might be curious. Here's the link (article, youtube, whatever) in case you want to check it out."

Then give him the link to norm.org?
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  #3  
Old December 21st, 2011
Invi Invi is offline
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Default Re: How to bring up the subject for the first time?

Yeah, female, sorry. lol.

That's one way to do it, I suppose. Thanks.
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  #4  
Old December 21st, 2011
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Purist Purist is offline
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Default Re: How to bring up the subject for the first time?

Oh, I forgot to mention--since you're concerned about possibly being misunderstood as to your reasons for bringing it up...

I would just be very feminine, and loving, and communicate to him (verbally, and non-verbally) that it's only out of concern for his happiness, and it has nothing to do with you being dissatisfied or anything like that. I think most men when presented in that way, can easily distinguish between the two so I wouldn't worry about being misunderstood.
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  #5  
Old December 21st, 2011
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JimOZ6 JimOZ6 is offline
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Default Re: How to bring up the subject for the first time?

I would buy him a copy of the book "The Joy of UnCircumcision". Great gift, informative read. Picks upon some of what you know and could bridge to his own discovery of restoration... Amazon might even guarantee Christmas delivery yet...

Jim
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  #6  
Old December 22nd, 2011
greg_b greg_b is offline
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Default Re: How to bring up the subject for the first time?

There is a good book that may give you some insight into bringing up difficult subjects: Crucial Conversations. The Key element is to make the person feel safe talking about the subject so they stay in dialogue.

You know him better than us, so you will know the best time and way to bring it up. But I agree with Purist, simply bring to his attention something that you found interesting, in light of previous conversations, and ask him what he thinks.

Regards
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"The foreskin isn't the wrapper...it's the candy!"
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  #7  
Old December 23rd, 2011
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Purist Purist is offline
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Default Re: How to bring up the subject for the first time?

I also should have added how commendable it is that you're so enlightened and supportive of him on this issue. I can only speak for myself, but it's near the top of the list of things I look for in a partner.
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  #8  
Old February 20th, 2012
medoin medoin is offline
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Default Re: How to bring up the subject for the first time?

I used this site as my ice breaking tool. I pulled up my favorite post and showed her. She was uncomfortable with the topic and I showed her some female comments on foreskin. I told her to just let me try. It would make me feel better.
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