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Safe Haven Disrespect for religious views is not permitted.

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  #1  
Old May 6th, 2012
redwolfbear redwolfbear is offline
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Default do guilt trips over religion =emotional abuse?

question

why is it that when a person of minor age refuses to accept their parents religion as their own or otherwise refuses to participate in thier parents religion.

the parents beleive they have some kind of self given /god given right to put the child on a guilt trip for the kid makng their own chocie on the matter?

wouldnt that guilt trip shit count as emotional abuse towards the child over time?
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Old May 6th, 2012
greg_b greg_b is offline
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Default Re: do guilt trips over religion =emotional abuse?

I think it could. But it depends on the context and details.

People seem to have a strong need to belong to groups.

Parents want the best for their children, and realize that children don't always know what is best.

Religions seem to use the "your one of us or your dammed" model. What parent would want their child to be dammed?

Some parents are abusive and power control freaks.

No easy answers...
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Old May 19th, 2012
redwolfbear redwolfbear is offline
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Default Re: do guilt trips over religion =emotional abuse?

to be honest my mother was always a emotionally abusive and manipulative bitch over the matter of religion when i was a kid

i never had any interest in her christion religionor curiosity in it for that matter not even when i was a young child


even as a kid if someone in the family started in with the yelling and screaming and name calling bit if anythign my first impusle was always to fire back at that eprson in those exact same ways

it did nto matter to me at the time if that other person was a adult member of the family or not i would talk back and hit back with everything i had and then some . i would hit back claw bit and even kick and punch my mother over the matter

as i saw it at the time i was defending myself agaist a peson who wnwted to physically hurt me and emotionally and verbally abuse my person all beause i would not allow my mother to force her religion on my person at a yougn age and also the fact i refsued to let my mother force her chocie on the matter on my unwilling person

needless to say i was quite a bit of a hellraising demon child and whenever my mom tried forcign the matter in a physical way i would jsut hit back and bit and claw at her in self defense whenever she woudl try being forceful over the matter

i never ment any disrepsect on the matter of religion originally but i never wanted any part of it in my own eprsonel life and to be honest being packed itno a buidl ing with a lot of other people just caused me to suffer from extreme anxiety attacks causign me to feel all claustrophobic

that on top of my being entriely distrustful of people in genral due to my being raped by a pedophile at the age fo 5 had some bit to do with it at least thats how i trace the whole matter back to its origin anyway

i think it was the whole dehumanising partof the matter that cause me to make the conenction between the two matters in my mind

in either matter i was treated less liek a livign person and more liek a unliving unfeeling thign liek i was was less a person and more a piece of property and in either case i was treated ina entirely disrepsectufl and inconsiderate and harmful hurtful manenr where my thoguhts and feelings and emotions were concerned and also where my free will in the matter being violated was concerned over the matter

to be heonst i want no part of the christian religon or its god in my life. not now not ever
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Old June 7th, 2012
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/sunrise/ /sunrise/ is offline
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Default Re: do guilt trips over religion =emotional abuse?

Quote:
wouldnt that guilt trip shit count as emotional abuse towards the child over time?
Yeah, I count it as emotional abuse, and when circumcising for religious reasons, physical abuse. But if you mention it to "them", they'll just make sure to abuse you more :P

"act the way we tell you to, otherwise you'll pay for it".

I made it clear to my parents that I didn't associate myself with their religion, and that you didn't have to be religious to be a good person. I honestly was a great child... kind and warm to others, didn't cause trouble, was responsible without being having to be reminded... curious and willing to help.

But my mother always forced me to go to church, Sunday religious lessons, and we had religious class in school from 5th to 12 grade. The priests and nuns hated me because I had thoughts of my own! That means I can't be molded to their wishes, gee, I'm terribly sorry.

If going to church makes you a good person, why did my wonderful father go to the pub every Sunday morning instead? So did all the men, to be fair.
The teenage boys would go to church to admire the girls... But they always sat all the way at the back to chat with each other, so we girls didn't get to admire them... oh, wait, if we so much looked at them, then we would be considered prostitutes... nevermind me!

Still, going to church wasn't to bad, I got to hear some stories for free. Plus it was my only chance to get out of the house besides going to school, my parents didn't let me go out at all.

My mom always wanted me to do all the religious things... make food offerings... read passages at the altar... go on processions... wanted me to act always "nice" and "sweet" and not have any thoughts of my own. If you think I'm too talkative, blame my parents, I'd pretty much get beaten or yelled at for opening my mouth.

That's oppressive. Very oppressive.

My first best-friend was of a different religion, so my mom beat me up every time she heard I was hanging out with her. Of course, eventually I made a new best friend and never talked to the girl again. If we were walking and saw each other, I'd turn my head the other way. It's so sad but I had no choice

When I had to go to confession (mandatory!), I would make up things, like, "I forgot to brush my teeth last night" or "I was late to school this morning" Oh please, please God, forgive me, I'm such a horrible person!

It's none of the priest's business to know what I did. If I really did something bad then I would honestly ask for forgiveness on my own, and make sure I don't make that mistake again. I don't see how that makes me a bad person.

I've even told the priests and nuns that I didn't want to do 1st and 2nd communion (I don't know what it's called in English), and I was still made do it. Oh well. Atleast we had a great family feast/party afterwards!

Note I don't have any issues with religion... (and circumcision) ... so long it's the person's wishes!

Quote:
in either matter i was treated less liek a livign person and more liek a unliving unfeeling thign liek i was was less a person and more a piece of property and in either case i was treated ina entirely disrepsectufl and inconsiderate and harmful hurtful manenr where my thoguhts and feelings and emotions were concerned and also where my free will in the matter being violated was concerned over the matter
Pretty much. In my family only the males were allowed anything.
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